


perfect

by earltrancy



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Multi, POV Second Person, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 05:34:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earltrancy/pseuds/earltrancy
Summary: “Is this home to you, Julian? Or are you trapped here?”“It's home. You're home.” He didn't hesitate, but you couldn't read his expression. “… I feel more at home here than I have in a long time.”“Then why do you keep running away?”┈❁┈Julian's partners worry about their angsty man. Fluff ensues.





	perfect

You caught him halfway out the door. 

The light from inside the shop barely made it past the doorstep before the darkness swallowed it, as if the night itself was intent on helping Julian escape.

Was that what it was? An escape?

“How many more times are you going to disappear?”

Your voice sounded tired, its first use after you'd been wrenched from sleep, but tired, too, bone-tired. The kind of tired that goes through to your soul. 

From the look Julian gave you, you assumed it showed. “MC, please…”

“Please, what? Let you go? Are we holding you here against your will?”

You took your hand off of his arm, and tried to keep the hurt off of your face. “Is this home to you, Julian? Or are you trapped here?”

“It's home. You're home.” He didn't hesitate, but you couldn't read his expression. “… I feel more at home here than I have in a long time.”

“Then why do you keep running away?”

Julian opened his mouth to respond, but then both of you were distracted by another light coming on behind you. 

Asra padded in with footsteps the sound of bare feet on wooden floor, hair the same tousled mess he always rolled out of bed with. 

He yawned softly, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “What are you two _doing_ down here– ?”

Emotions swept clearly across his face like the pages of a book; he was the opposite of Julian in that way, you thought passively. 

“Oh.”

Julian cleared his throat quietly. “Asra…”

“Ilya,” he answered. 

He came to the door himself, standing beside you. He took your hand, as much for his own comfort as yours. 

“Couldn't you just… just tell us before you go? What you need, how long you'll be gone? Instead of leaving us to worry?”

“You shouldn't worry about me,” Julian answered immediately. He couldn't meet your eyes, either of you. 

“What are we supposed to do, then?” You saw Julian flinch at the anger in your voice, and you took a breath to calm yourself. “Do you expect us to just forget you exist until you drag yourself back to our doorstep?”

How many times had you and Asra woken up to a cold, Julian-shaped space in the bed between you? Had you held Asra and dried his tears, or had he done the same for you? 

How many times had you worried that this would be the time Julian never came home? 

Your shoulders were shaking. Your hands were trembling. “Please. Please stay.” Your broken voice sounded pathetic even to your own ears. 

A gloved hand reached out to cup your face, thumb brushing over your cheek to wipe away the wetness there. You hadn't even noticed. 

Asra leaned into your shoulder, sighing gently. Julian hesitated, then shut the door behind them; he walked a few short steps to sit at the table and slumped over it, hiding his face in his arms. 

You and Asra shared a worried look before following. You went to Julian's side, draping your arms around his shoulders; Asra sat at the table across from him and coaxed his arms out from under him, so he could hold his hands. 

When he looked up at Asra, his face was already red and damp. “I'm sorry,” he said pleadingly. He turned to you and repeated, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I…”

You shook your head and kissed the top of Julian's, running your fingers through his hair soothingly. “You’re gonna be alright, love.”

Asra squeezed Julian's hands, brought them to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “We just want to understand, Ilya,” he murmured, looking at both of you and almost smiling. “If you're happy here… why do you leave?”

He hiccuped, and his face fell again. You held him tightly, and accepted when he pulled you into his lap, buried his face in your shoulder. 

You leaned into him, and Asra held his hand, and you just waited. 

“It's too much,” he said eventually, in a small voice that you didn't like. Julian's voice was supposed to fill up a room. 

Instead the room went silent again until Asra softly encouraged, “What is?”

After looking around from you to Asra, to the shop counter, the stairs, he sighed. “All of it? All of this.”

Another paused, and he continued. “I don't deserve this,” he imparted, chewing his lip anxiously. “You… had something wonderful here. Until I came along.”

“Jules,” you mumbled against his skin, nestling into him insistently as if the closer you were, the better he'd understand how you felt for him. “Jules, baby, no.”

“We _had_ something wonderful,” Asra repeated, and then smiled – properly this time. “But now we have something perfect.”

Julian smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

“You think you don't fit here,” you said, leaning against his chest. “You don't get it, Julian. Our bed feels too empty with just two people in it, now.”

“I feel weird not making enough tea for three people,” Asra agreed. 

“We _need_ you for grocery shopping now, you're the only one that can bargain without looking stupid.”

“The nice baker at the market always makes us three loaves of bread, now.”

While you spoke, Asra came around the table to Julian's other side and held his face, just looking at him with adoring eyes. “Faust definitely prefers having three people to squeeze.”

“Gods, your fucking snake,” Julian laughed, and Asra grinned and pulled him in for a kiss. 

“She loves you,” he promised. “So do I.”

“You fit, Jules. You fit perfectly.”

A familiar warm feeling washed over Julian, and, for once, he let it. 

┈❁┈

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you were greeted with one of your favorite sights. Messy white curls splayed across a pillow, obscuring half of your lover's peaceful, sleeping face. Long white eyelashes nearly brushed the apples of his cheeks, and you smiled as if on instinct. 

But Asra was tucked to one edge of the bed, and you were at the other, leaving the mattress empty between you two. 

Gods, you couldn't take this. You couldn't face that implication alone. 

“Asra,” you murmured in a voice heavy with sleep as you inched towards him. “Love.”

You woke him gently, and he smiled just as you had moments ago, before similarly taking note of the gap between. 

“Oh, no.” 

He sighed, and you pulled him into your arms for a long moment before the two of you greeted the morning. 

┈❁┈

Entering the kitchen, though, you and Asra were surrounded by a familiar smell; moments later Julian appeared from the pantry in an open shirt and with a dusting of flour in his hair, like he'd run a hand through it before remembering what he was doing. 

Your face broke into a broad grin, and you flung your arms around him, pressing your face to his chest and breathing deeply, trying to create a sense memory of this moment. Asra's arms came around you from the side just seconds later, and Julian laughed, a full body laugh that you felt rumble against you as he hugged you and Asra back. 

“I didn't mean to scare you,” he said sheepishly, a blush creeping to his cheeks with both embarrassment and happiness. “I just wanted to surprise you. With an apology.”

"Nothing to apologize for, darling," said Asra, reading your thoughts. You nodded from your place against Julian's chest and kissed the skin immediately available to you, just under his collarbone. He shivered and you giggled. 

Freeing himself from the embrace, he turned to the counter, but then back to you. "No, you were right. The both of you," he said, and something told you not to interrupt. "You’re my partners. I should… tell you things. Trust you. Shutting out the two most important people in my life – it was wrong, and I'm sorry."

You swelled with pride, and squeezed a breath out of Julian with the force of your hug. He chuckled as his arms wrapped back around you. 

Asra, hanging back with an approving smile, said, "You’re forgiven. I think we all needed to hear that."

Julian looked to you, and you echoed, "You’re forgiven."

"Well, I'm still going to finish making these molasses cookies."

"You’re making cookies first thing in the morning?" 

He smiled sheepishly. "I don't know how to make bread."

Your eyes met Asra's, and you both laughed.

"What?!" 

"Julian," you said, "you're perfect."

**Author's Note:**

> so I wrote the majority of this months ago, then found it in my drafts and wrote the last few paragraphs to finish it off. probably shite. oh well.


End file.
